I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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