Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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