I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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