Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize