the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
