I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
