i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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