i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize