Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The feeling are messing with the penis
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
