I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
