So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
