Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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