Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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