This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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