Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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