He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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