Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
