I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
