I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
