brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
