Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
