Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
