Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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