he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
