wake up i wanna do it froggy style
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
