I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
