508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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