Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
high people should be assigned attendants
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
