I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
