She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
