i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
