im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
