my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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