a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
