hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
