I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My hand turned me down
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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