absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I need moral support for this bender
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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