I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
