O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
