Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
