Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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