i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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