I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
