I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
