Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize