there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
