On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
