Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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