Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
