I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
