butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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