apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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