i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He felt like a one man threesome
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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