covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
