That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
