Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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