Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
